so, my typical sunday morning routine consists of going to church on the west side of town, and then stoping at the fancy-schmancy grocery store by there, so i can avoid gunshots and crack deals at the one closer to my house. today was no different.
though i walked in only needing to buy a gallon of milk (on sale 2 for $5.00), i found myself in the check-out line with what turned out to be about $37.00 worth of other purchases.
since the store recently added "self checkout lanes" for purchases of more than 10 items, i find if the right people know how to use this process, it is much more efficient. unfortunately, today was not the day i got in line behind a young dad and his kid who appeared to have any freaking clue what was going on.
as i waited patiently while the dad scanned all of his 14-15 items, i glanced around to notice that indeed this was the shortest line. by the time i looked back at my lane, the dad was running his credit card through and i was feeling good about my lane choice (dont' act like you don't do this too).
as i stepped up to the register, the dad pulled his cart with 2-year-old son down to the end by his purchases and slowly began bagging them. i thought for a second that i should wait until all of his stuff was bagged and out of the way, but then when i realized that he was letting the 2-year-old help him, & that it was going to take forever....like when i see a yellow stop light, i proceeded with caution. now don't get me wrong, i have nieces and nephews and i'm all for letting the kid help and learn to be a big boy or big girl, but there are certain times and places when that SHOULDN'T happen. for example, on the airplane as everyone is anxiously awaiting their turn to get out of the suffocating death grip of still, stale air... or in this case, when the line is growing at the grocery store and customers have ice cream melting in their carts (breyer's also on sale 2 for $5).
i didn't see a divider to separate his stuff from mine, so i carefully noted what was my first item and began scanning. the next thing i know one by one, each of my purchases were being picked up and thrown down on the conveyer belt. at first glace out of the corner of my eye, i assumed it was the 2-year-old that was accidently picking my stuff up and throwing it, but when i turned i noticed the gallon of milk being shoved to the side and then my squeezeable mayonaise being slammed on top of my potato chips. i looked up at the dad as he yanked his cart around and as he walked away he looked at me and said "fucking bitch!!"
i assumed that his frustration stemmed from my groceries bumping into his....and although i had said, "hey...i couldn't find a divider, but my stuff starts with that cereal box," clearly the contact of my kellogg's fruit and yogurt cereal up against his last package of pizza rolls, warranted the name-calling...clearly and vociferiously in front of the 2-year-old.
it's funny, because though i was first stunned and a bit confused as to what just happened, i couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation. irony in that i had just come from church where i heard a teaching about grumbling and complaining and that some people think life is a sprint, and react as if every little moment of irritation is monumental in our lives, rather than realizing life is a marathon, and that in the big picture, stuff like being cut off in traffic or someone rushing us at the grocery store is minimal when we realize how much we've been blessed.
so, mr. mom with 2-year-old who swore at me when for a moment i apparently ruined your life with my seemingly selfish behavior....if i ever see you again, the lunchables are on me.
more to come...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
cartoon opposites...
so, a few years ago i invented a new word....cartoon opposites.
yes, we are all familiar with what an opposite is, especially if we have recently watched any episodes of "sesame street," but a cartoon opposite is something to be applied differently.
cartoon opposite is more than just an opposite, in fact, it is so ridiculously opposite that only the image of a cartoon... extremely tall man vs. extremely short man, extremely large eyes vs. extremely small eyes can summarize just how dramatically opposite these two things are.
i invented this word when i was describing the difference between a new friend in my life and myself. she was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, demure and shy. yes, indeed, she and i were "cartoon opposites."
another word i've invented is the word "badvocate."
a badvocate is someone who is really freakin' good at fighting for their rights, beliefs and convictions, yes, sounds like advocate, but becomes BADvocate because their rights, beliefs and convictions are the "cartoon opposite" of what YOU actually believe in.
more to come...
yes, we are all familiar with what an opposite is, especially if we have recently watched any episodes of "sesame street," but a cartoon opposite is something to be applied differently.
cartoon opposite is more than just an opposite, in fact, it is so ridiculously opposite that only the image of a cartoon... extremely tall man vs. extremely short man, extremely large eyes vs. extremely small eyes can summarize just how dramatically opposite these two things are.
i invented this word when i was describing the difference between a new friend in my life and myself. she was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, demure and shy. yes, indeed, she and i were "cartoon opposites."
another word i've invented is the word "badvocate."
a badvocate is someone who is really freakin' good at fighting for their rights, beliefs and convictions, yes, sounds like advocate, but becomes BADvocate because their rights, beliefs and convictions are the "cartoon opposite" of what YOU actually believe in.
more to come...
reading books and stuff...
so recently i did something that i never thought was part of the paradigm i had in my head of who i am and the kinds of things i would do. after a month or so of perseverance and the frequent contemplation of doing so, i decided to stop reading a book half way through and returned it to the library. though obviously this behavior isn't life-altering, i still was shocked to discover that i was the kind of person who would abandon a book before i finished it.
this behavior troubles me for a few reasons.
first, only within the last four years have i really become what i would call "a reader." those of you who know me know that due to my fun-sized attention span and the fact that my mind is always racing between topics such as what i'm going to have for lunch and how funny it would be to see fish play little tiny band instruments, i seem to be incapable of sitting still long enough to actually concentrate, let alone enjoy reading something other than who was spotted at starbucks in US weekly. so, now that i am a skilled reader, as i can't seem to lose this addiction i've given in to, the thought of not being able to complete a book, simply because it no longer captures my interest, leads me to think that this may be a sign that i could be veering down the "non-reader" path again. honestly, i get images of charley from "flowers for algernon" and how he begins to recognize signs that the neurological procedure he had which made him smarter, is beginning to wear off....that cartoon opposite behavior frightens me, and more importantly, i like that others see me as "one who reads..."
second, not too long ago, a close friend of mine shared with me that one word she always uses to describe me is loyal. loyalty, according to dictionary.com, means faithful to one's commitments, oaths or obligations. now i realize that deciding that a book no longer holds my attention and that indeed, forcing myself to continue reading it IS a waste of time, is insignificant to my reputation as being loyal, but i would be lying if i said it didn't cross my mind...perhaps that's why i struggled with my decision for so long.
the interesting thing in all of this, is that not only am i a recent reader, but these days i find myself reading two different books at once, not simultaneously, although, i'm sure if i could do that, i would definitely get to be a guest on "rachael ray," but rather, at night, before i go to bed, i keep track of not only giving myself enough time to read one book before i turn off the lights, but enough time to read a little bit from both books on my nightstand. i think i speak for everyone who knew me growing up when i say...WHO AM I?
maybe worrying about loyalty and abandoning the craft of reading isn't as big of a problem as i think....and perhaps i should just shift my focus on getting a life instead.
more to come...
this behavior troubles me for a few reasons.
first, only within the last four years have i really become what i would call "a reader." those of you who know me know that due to my fun-sized attention span and the fact that my mind is always racing between topics such as what i'm going to have for lunch and how funny it would be to see fish play little tiny band instruments, i seem to be incapable of sitting still long enough to actually concentrate, let alone enjoy reading something other than who was spotted at starbucks in US weekly. so, now that i am a skilled reader, as i can't seem to lose this addiction i've given in to, the thought of not being able to complete a book, simply because it no longer captures my interest, leads me to think that this may be a sign that i could be veering down the "non-reader" path again. honestly, i get images of charley from "flowers for algernon" and how he begins to recognize signs that the neurological procedure he had which made him smarter, is beginning to wear off....that cartoon opposite behavior frightens me, and more importantly, i like that others see me as "one who reads..."
second, not too long ago, a close friend of mine shared with me that one word she always uses to describe me is loyal. loyalty, according to dictionary.com, means faithful to one's commitments, oaths or obligations. now i realize that deciding that a book no longer holds my attention and that indeed, forcing myself to continue reading it IS a waste of time, is insignificant to my reputation as being loyal, but i would be lying if i said it didn't cross my mind...perhaps that's why i struggled with my decision for so long.
the interesting thing in all of this, is that not only am i a recent reader, but these days i find myself reading two different books at once, not simultaneously, although, i'm sure if i could do that, i would definitely get to be a guest on "rachael ray," but rather, at night, before i go to bed, i keep track of not only giving myself enough time to read one book before i turn off the lights, but enough time to read a little bit from both books on my nightstand. i think i speak for everyone who knew me growing up when i say...WHO AM I?
maybe worrying about loyalty and abandoning the craft of reading isn't as big of a problem as i think....and perhaps i should just shift my focus on getting a life instead.
more to come...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
strange currencies...
so this morning after being out and about running errands, i came home and unloaded a few grocery items from the car into their new and correct kitchen locations. tim, my new roommate who lives upstairs, was on his computer, stephanie, his wife and other new roommate who lives upstairs, was making homemade carrot-bran muffins.
as i was putting things away, we were joking how, their food... organic, healthy and locally produced, was very easy to identify from my food... processed, simple, and crap containing, in the fridge. we joked about it because before they moved in my fridge pretty much had, "pepsi and pudding," according to stephanie. this, sadly, is true.
as i was putting stuff away, i told stephanie that the main reason I always have such limited food in the fridge and around the house is because i have a huge fear and weak stomach when it comes to food going bad. (AND...cue the number of experiences i had as a child innocently opening what i thought was a butter tub containing butter, only to find "about to turn" stuffing from three weeks prior...insert gagging sounds...). this is also why i fear leftovers. in other words, if it's not in there, it can't go bad. therefore if i DO eat at home, which is rarely, i'll buy whatever i eat, fresh that day and fix it up, like a salad or some meat to grill, eat it and be done with it. very european of me.
stephanie then pointed out that with her knowledge of the food industry, as she's been a writer for a non-profit organization that deals with how food processing and the food industry work, that her feelings are the opposite. she has a huge fear and weak stomach when it comes to food that DOESN't go bad. her point was that if food doesn't go bad, (like a burrito tim left under the passenger seat in our friend burts' truck. the thing was there at least a month and when it was discovered, looked pristinely untouched, as if it was fresh from the kitchen.) it is overly processed with additives and preservatives and other unnatural stuff to keep it that way. thinking of that made me think of how dead bodies get embalmed. though the body is merely a shell, and when it's preserved, it's a shell that looks pretty frickin' great as it is prepared to go 6-feet under, but to preserve it in that state, or prevent it from decaying, essentially, is unnatural. yeah, i guess food shouldn't be like that.
i'm always learning new things; especially now that i have social issue-minded roommates. they know a lot about stuff like that. maybe i should pay attention, because chances are good that swiss miss and diet pepsi are going to fail me eventually.
man, you can't trust anyone, any more.
more to come...
as i was putting things away, we were joking how, their food... organic, healthy and locally produced, was very easy to identify from my food... processed, simple, and crap containing, in the fridge. we joked about it because before they moved in my fridge pretty much had, "pepsi and pudding," according to stephanie. this, sadly, is true.
as i was putting stuff away, i told stephanie that the main reason I always have such limited food in the fridge and around the house is because i have a huge fear and weak stomach when it comes to food going bad. (AND...cue the number of experiences i had as a child innocently opening what i thought was a butter tub containing butter, only to find "about to turn" stuffing from three weeks prior...insert gagging sounds...). this is also why i fear leftovers. in other words, if it's not in there, it can't go bad. therefore if i DO eat at home, which is rarely, i'll buy whatever i eat, fresh that day and fix it up, like a salad or some meat to grill, eat it and be done with it. very european of me.
stephanie then pointed out that with her knowledge of the food industry, as she's been a writer for a non-profit organization that deals with how food processing and the food industry work, that her feelings are the opposite. she has a huge fear and weak stomach when it comes to food that DOESN't go bad. her point was that if food doesn't go bad, (like a burrito tim left under the passenger seat in our friend burts' truck. the thing was there at least a month and when it was discovered, looked pristinely untouched, as if it was fresh from the kitchen.) it is overly processed with additives and preservatives and other unnatural stuff to keep it that way. thinking of that made me think of how dead bodies get embalmed. though the body is merely a shell, and when it's preserved, it's a shell that looks pretty frickin' great as it is prepared to go 6-feet under, but to preserve it in that state, or prevent it from decaying, essentially, is unnatural. yeah, i guess food shouldn't be like that.
i'm always learning new things; especially now that i have social issue-minded roommates. they know a lot about stuff like that. maybe i should pay attention, because chances are good that swiss miss and diet pepsi are going to fail me eventually.
man, you can't trust anyone, any more.
more to come...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
new year’s resolution...
original post january 1, 2008
so, recently i was hanging out with some friends and my one friend SR says, "hey what ever happened to your friend what's his name...that kid who was always drinking orange juice?"
as she spoke i realized that her recognition of my friend DT, who was indeed always drinking orange juice and who slips in and out of my life on a regular basis, simply because that's how he rolls, was based solely on some quality about him that stood out as being "so him," in this case drinking orange juice.
we all have friends who we describe as "that kid who is always wearing a hoody...or always talking about his lawn...or always riding a uni-cycle..." anyway, i decided i wanted to be that person in other people's lives.
therefore my resolution for 2008 is to chew more gum and be "that friend of yours, you know, the one who is always chewing gum...."
thus, my contribution to the betterment of society in 08....or should i say, better-MINT?
more to come...
so, recently i was hanging out with some friends and my one friend SR says, "hey what ever happened to your friend what's his name...that kid who was always drinking orange juice?"
as she spoke i realized that her recognition of my friend DT, who was indeed always drinking orange juice and who slips in and out of my life on a regular basis, simply because that's how he rolls, was based solely on some quality about him that stood out as being "so him," in this case drinking orange juice.
we all have friends who we describe as "that kid who is always wearing a hoody...or always talking about his lawn...or always riding a uni-cycle..." anyway, i decided i wanted to be that person in other people's lives.
therefore my resolution for 2008 is to chew more gum and be "that friend of yours, you know, the one who is always chewing gum...."
thus, my contribution to the betterment of society in 08....or should i say, better-MINT?
more to come...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
jerk-face
original posting december 22, 2007
so recently i was at a christmas party....
while poker and meatball eating were going on at one table....."taboo" and lots of laughter were going on at my table. though for the others that were at my table the tears and pants-wetting came simply as a result of the hilarious nature of the game of "taboo"(if you've never played it, it's a riot), but for me, my amusement came from the fact that a girl, whom i had never met before, though my age....frequently abused the word "JERK-FACE" when she got frustrated at her teammates.
as i was falling asleep that night i again was bombarded with the weight of the world on my mind....but added to that was the very simple thought, "it's a rare thing in 2007 to be hanging out with adults and hear someone call someone else a JERK-FACE....i love that" then i smiled and fell right asleep.
more to come...
so recently i was at a christmas party....
while poker and meatball eating were going on at one table....."taboo" and lots of laughter were going on at my table. though for the others that were at my table the tears and pants-wetting came simply as a result of the hilarious nature of the game of "taboo"(if you've never played it, it's a riot), but for me, my amusement came from the fact that a girl, whom i had never met before, though my age....frequently abused the word "JERK-FACE" when she got frustrated at her teammates.
as i was falling asleep that night i again was bombarded with the weight of the world on my mind....but added to that was the very simple thought, "it's a rare thing in 2007 to be hanging out with adults and hear someone call someone else a JERK-FACE....i love that" then i smiled and fell right asleep.
more to come...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
benjamin jeffrey palomino
original posting december 12, 2007
my nephew ben was born four years ago today at altus air force base in altus, oklahoma.
he is the fourth of my brothers' five kids, the youngest son. when he was a baby, his older brother, jordan, wanted to give him a nickname...he said he wanted to choose something tough, but the best he could come up with was "benny blueberry"......which we recognized was far from tough, but we loved it anyway and have since shortened it to benny b.
though i love all five of them, messy hair, soap in their eyes, syrupy kisses and all...benny and i have a special connection. first, i tell him all the time that he and i are in the "cool birthday club" since his birthday is 12-12 and mine is 11-11.but also, a couple of years ago, as i was filling out one of those on-line survey things, you know where 3 is the last person you talked to on the phone, 5 is the person you're thinking about, etc. anyway, one of my responses was my nephew ben. as the answers were revealed, it identified that the response to 7, where i had written ben's name, indicated that that person was "my lucky star...." so i've always secretly thought of benny as my lucky star.
so, the other day i got the christmas letter my brother and his family send out every year. each of his children had a quote of the year listed, something funny or charming they had said. ben's quote was in reference to his 1-year-old little sister, isabela. he said, "mommy, sometimes i like isabela and sometimes i don't." coming from the mouth of a 4-year-old, his comments are amusing...as sometimes, his baby sister is cute and cuddly and other times she meddles too much with his legos and matchbox cars. but what i love most about what he said is the pure honesty in his words.
you know, in reality, there are many times in my life when sometimes i like the people i care most about and but sometimes i don't like them. but as an adult, if i were to say that, it would sound mean. but come on, it's true, there are times when my favorite thing to do is be around the people i love and other times when i'd rather die a slow and painful death. my point….THAT'S ok, it doesn't mean we don't still love them…..but it's unrealistic to think we like them ALL the time, but only four-year-old's have the smarts to say it out loud.
my nephew ben was born four years ago today at altus air force base in altus, oklahoma.
he is the fourth of my brothers' five kids, the youngest son. when he was a baby, his older brother, jordan, wanted to give him a nickname...he said he wanted to choose something tough, but the best he could come up with was "benny blueberry"......which we recognized was far from tough, but we loved it anyway and have since shortened it to benny b.
though i love all five of them, messy hair, soap in their eyes, syrupy kisses and all...benny and i have a special connection. first, i tell him all the time that he and i are in the "cool birthday club" since his birthday is 12-12 and mine is 11-11.but also, a couple of years ago, as i was filling out one of those on-line survey things, you know where 3 is the last person you talked to on the phone, 5 is the person you're thinking about, etc. anyway, one of my responses was my nephew ben. as the answers were revealed, it identified that the response to 7, where i had written ben's name, indicated that that person was "my lucky star...." so i've always secretly thought of benny as my lucky star.
so, the other day i got the christmas letter my brother and his family send out every year. each of his children had a quote of the year listed, something funny or charming they had said. ben's quote was in reference to his 1-year-old little sister, isabela. he said, "mommy, sometimes i like isabela and sometimes i don't." coming from the mouth of a 4-year-old, his comments are amusing...as sometimes, his baby sister is cute and cuddly and other times she meddles too much with his legos and matchbox cars. but what i love most about what he said is the pure honesty in his words.
you know, in reality, there are many times in my life when sometimes i like the people i care most about and but sometimes i don't like them. but as an adult, if i were to say that, it would sound mean. but come on, it's true, there are times when my favorite thing to do is be around the people i love and other times when i'd rather die a slow and painful death. my point….THAT'S ok, it doesn't mean we don't still love them…..but it's unrealistic to think we like them ALL the time, but only four-year-old's have the smarts to say it out loud.
so, to those of you closest to me…..in the words of benny blueberry…."sometimes i like you and sometimes i don't…." but no matter what i still love you.
more to come...
Monday, September 1, 2008
david sedaris, karen and amanda r...
in the last couple of years i've become insanely obsessed with reading anything i can get my hands on. the realization of this came as quite a surprise to me because until about two years ago the only books i had read contained, "the berenstein bears" in the title.
one of the author's that i've grown to love is a humorist named david sedaris. i first became aware of him when i heard him speak on "this american life" on national public radio (NPR to those of us who have no life...) then when i found out he had written several books about his quirky family and growing up experiences, i went to the library and checked out any book of his that was available.
about three months ago my neighbor, we'll call her "karen,"... because that's actually her name...
(...but makes me consider for a moment folks who write in to 'dear abby' and identify their husbands or girlfriends or children as "chet" or "shirley"...do the quotations mean that's not their real name? and if so, then how did they come to the conclusion of using "chet" or "shirley" instead..)...ANYWAY, so "karen" said to me, "hey, did you hear david sedaris is coming to the frauenthal in muskegon to speak in october?" karen is really an avid reader, as opposed to me this fraud walking around pretending to know what i'm talking about, and we've discussed sedaris' work on previous occasions.
upon hearing this i immedately thought of my friend amanda r., or green ford focus, as karen knows her as. because friends and random people are always coming and going from my house, she only knows who i'm talking about based on what car they drive. amanda r. and i share a quirky and bizarre appreciation of life and have also on many occasions discussed our appreciation of david sedaris. so i got tickets for us to go and last night was the big event.
as we were parking in downtown muskegon we realized that there was also a "muskegon fury" hockey game going on at the same time around the corner....not that we consider ourselves snooty-snoots or intellectuals by any means, but we were very amused at the ridiculous difference of fan bases between the finely manicured goatee and wine-drinking crowds arriving to hear an NPR award-winning author, versus foam-finger sporting, baseball helmet with beer can holders crowd going to the hockey game. it looked a bit like a modern twist on a civil war re-enactment.
sedaris was hilarious and a good time was had by all. ironically, in the 2000 seat theatre "karen" the neighbor and her friends sat directly across the aisle from us.
on our ride home, amanda r. and i re-hashed his exceptionally witty moments and agreed that we couldn't wait to read his next book. it was also during this time that as we were driving i noticed that the dashboard clock said "9:12" and the radio station we happend to be listening to was "91.2." i said....'hey look at that,' as i made a jerking motion with my head towards the dashboard. amanda r. said, "this is one of the things i love about you....your appreciation of things like that."
we both laughed and it was at that moment i was grateful for an evening with my friend filled with intellectual opportunity and silly every day nonsense.....because that pretty much sums up my life.
more to come...
one of the author's that i've grown to love is a humorist named david sedaris. i first became aware of him when i heard him speak on "this american life" on national public radio (NPR to those of us who have no life...) then when i found out he had written several books about his quirky family and growing up experiences, i went to the library and checked out any book of his that was available.
about three months ago my neighbor, we'll call her "karen,"... because that's actually her name...
(...but makes me consider for a moment folks who write in to 'dear abby' and identify their husbands or girlfriends or children as "chet" or "shirley"...do the quotations mean that's not their real name? and if so, then how did they come to the conclusion of using "chet" or "shirley" instead..)...ANYWAY, so "karen" said to me, "hey, did you hear david sedaris is coming to the frauenthal in muskegon to speak in october?" karen is really an avid reader, as opposed to me this fraud walking around pretending to know what i'm talking about, and we've discussed sedaris' work on previous occasions.
upon hearing this i immedately thought of my friend amanda r., or green ford focus, as karen knows her as. because friends and random people are always coming and going from my house, she only knows who i'm talking about based on what car they drive. amanda r. and i share a quirky and bizarre appreciation of life and have also on many occasions discussed our appreciation of david sedaris. so i got tickets for us to go and last night was the big event.
as we were parking in downtown muskegon we realized that there was also a "muskegon fury" hockey game going on at the same time around the corner....not that we consider ourselves snooty-snoots or intellectuals by any means, but we were very amused at the ridiculous difference of fan bases between the finely manicured goatee and wine-drinking crowds arriving to hear an NPR award-winning author, versus foam-finger sporting, baseball helmet with beer can holders crowd going to the hockey game. it looked a bit like a modern twist on a civil war re-enactment.
sedaris was hilarious and a good time was had by all. ironically, in the 2000 seat theatre "karen" the neighbor and her friends sat directly across the aisle from us.
on our ride home, amanda r. and i re-hashed his exceptionally witty moments and agreed that we couldn't wait to read his next book. it was also during this time that as we were driving i noticed that the dashboard clock said "9:12" and the radio station we happend to be listening to was "91.2." i said....'hey look at that,' as i made a jerking motion with my head towards the dashboard. amanda r. said, "this is one of the things i love about you....your appreciation of things like that."
we both laughed and it was at that moment i was grateful for an evening with my friend filled with intellectual opportunity and silly every day nonsense.....because that pretty much sums up my life.
more to come...
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